Here is our best of for the year 2014. Enjoy! (or listen to our podcast!)
Best Game That Is Resident Evil 4 – The Evil Within
Best Slicing-Dudes-Like-Butter Game – Strider
Best HD Re-release That Is Full Price – Halo: Master Chief Collection
Most Ironic Title For A Game People Play Too Much – Destiny
Best Game That Is Also the Best Video Game Pun Ever – Destiny
(We couldn’t help ourselves. In fact, you could say it was our…wait for it…DESTINY)
“Greatest Game Ever” That Mercilessly Sucks All Your Time (And You Can’t Pause) – Destiny
Best Game Where French People Have British Accents – Assassin’s Creed: Unity
Most “Revolutionary” Game of 2014 – Assassin’s Creed: Unity
Best Use of Birds In A Supporting Role – Tie – Monument Valley and A Bird Story
Best Game That’s Money-Gated Behind Another Game (DLC) – Last of Us Left Behind
Best Stockholm Syndrome Game – Mario Kart 8
(Zachery gets sad when the blue shell isn’t beating him down. He feels like something’s wrong when he’s not getting blue-shelled.)
Best $30 Demo – Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes
Best Genesis-Era-Sonic-Like Game (Never Stop!) – Freedom Planet
Most Accurate Knight Simulator of 2014 (Forget Chivalry!) – Shovel Knight
Award For Contributing Nothing Valuable To Dark Souls Formula (Especially Meaningless Puzzles) – Dark Souls 2
Most Magical-Happy-Amazeballs Free to Play – Hearthstone
Best Grizzled Old Bastard Game – Wasteland 2
Gold Digger Award (Most Fun Haggling With a Dog) – Rusty’s Real Deal (“WOOF!”)
Best Game My Mother Loved (But Your Mother Would Hate) – Bayonetta 2
Weirdest MMO (About Selling Drugs, Drinking or Doing Whatever You Want) – Velvet Sundown
Conversation Killer Award – World of Warcraft: Warlords of Draenor
(Just try to talk about this game with your non-WoW friends. Get FDA approval and you’ll be a certified sleep aid).
Most Innovative Mechanic – Double Jumping in Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare.
(Award only counts if you have never played anything other than CoD.) Call of Duty With a Double Jump is the latest entry in the Call of Duty series, which has heretofore been known for not having double jumps.
Best Dynasty Warriors Game – Hyrule Warriors
(completely beating out the one hundred billion other Warriors games that probably came out this year, I didn’t check).
Best Game With a Fungi – Captain Toad Treasure Tracker
Least Mature Ubisoft Paper Mario-like – A TIE! South Park: Stick of Truth or Child of Light.
