Last updated on October 13, 2013
Haywire – Honestly, I had zero intention of seeing this film at all. Knowing that they threw a mixed martial-arts heroine into the mix means one thing, and one thing only: a protagonist who easily does stunts and amazing feats, but not much else. You don’t need much to suspend the audience’s disbelief, and certainly not a particular leading lady. Anyone coming to see this film knows exactly what they will see from the moment they pop in the disc/pick this on Netflix livestreaming (my particular choice, in this case). Having just come off of Side Effects, yet more genre fare released under the Soderbergh “clean” aesthetic, who could expect anything but the same applied to a different genre?
Released in early 2012, Haywire isn’t amazing by any means, but I see a rather competently made thriller. Which, unfortunately, contains zero tension at all. Most of the film reminded me of Soderbergh’s Ocean’s Eleven films, which contain the exact same vibe with a whole lot less killing. Gina Carano, as the aforementioned MMA star, doesn’t think twice about eliminating everyone in her way. Let me explain the whole movie: she is a Marine, then secret agent, then private contractor. She finds herself involved in a sticky situation which, naturally, makes her the target of her former employers. She goes on the run, and then gets revenge. Surprise, surprise. So the whole film struck me as rout, genre fare.
Except, of course, Soderbergh throws that hilariously jarring jazz music everywhere. And just about everyone on earth who you would expect in such a film appears, all providing a competent performance for the small time they appear (again, the revenge thing – don’t expect anyone to live too long). Heck, I even liked Channing Tatum, and I’ve seen far too much of him and his boring face (apologies in advance) for a lifetime. Plus, as expected, Carano turns the whole thing into a heck of a karate film, with many fights interspersed throughout.
Thankfully, Soderbergh’s direction keeps the whole story on point, not allowing for the slightest deviation or movement from the main plot. In fact, it feels like some information probably disappeared in the editing process. Imagine all the stuff they pack into this film within a lean 92 minutes, a rarity for this genre, and that INCLUDES the credits! The polish exudes from every pore, yet there’s just something missing here. I mean, I like watching this sort of thing as much as the next guy, but there’s just not much here if you’re looking for an interesting plot or anything other than the bad people getting beaten up.
So would I recommend it? I guess, yes, I would. This experience exists for a definite mood, a definite feeling, and a certain kind of night. As long as you know that going into this, you’ll enjoy it. Expect something transcending genre tropes and you will find yourself disappointed or annoyed. But seriously, an hour and a half isn’t devastating time lost watching Haywire.
Oblivion – Goodness, where do I start with this pile of trash? I’m sure that SPOILERS exist in this review somewhere, so be forewarned.
Overly harsh? Maybe. But Oblivion lacks what I’d call “originality” – even if the premise sounds different (post-apocalypse where humanity relocated, two humans remain to suck up power and such), somehow it turns into a combination of science fictions films from the last few decades. I mean, seriously, any film that takes such measures to copy The Matrix, The Terminator, and Moon in equal number deserves a plagiarism credit, at the very least. Unfortunately, it does absolutely nothing interesting with any of these elements, instead throwing the “best” parts of said plots into a gigantic, confusing hodge-podge.
At the least, they copied the Wachowski style of “excessive exposition”, wherein too much information comes from dialogue and NOT from the beautiful, austere visuals. For all the time and care taken to making the apocalypse hauntingly beautiful and a story all itself, Oblivion’s script seems more infatuated with the “depth” of its nonsense plotting. Or making sure that Morgan Freeman looks like the sci-fi version of Lawrence Fishburne; replace the trench coat with the cape, add cool sunglasses, and you got yourself an African-American mentor of the future!
Ok, so the film DID seem intriguing from the beginning, with the slow set-up and the languid pace. Unfortunately (unlike The Matrix, say), that progression does nothing for the plot, nor does the big reveal really surprise. Heck, when Tom Cruise ventures into the radiation zone (which is off-limits, Ohh), seeing his clone told me the film officially jumped the shark. Then you get a few more reams of exposition (thanks for not showing us what you told us), and we blow up Skynet. Or Sally, whatever. While reciting Roman poetry which is meaningful for some reason I don’t understand.
Although it purports to provide something new, Oblivion hoodwinks you into expecting entertainment and then finding none. Look, science fiction’s cool and all, but if you want to make a film with it, you need to do something new or stylistic with it that doesn’t crib liberally from the same old themes. Why not just watch Star Wars or Star Trek instead? We need reasons! Tom Cruise doesn’t fit into this setting at all, looking somewhat out of place, but he’s done a similar sci-fi film before (Minority Report). This script just doesn’t suit anyone, and it doesn’t work. Too much important information comes from voice-over, and we don’t need voice over. Show us!
I’m ok with dumb films (see: lots of films I watch), but anything with pretensions to say something, provide a message, or weave an intricate plot cannot mash styles and ideas together, magically expecting them to work. It needs structure, it needs form, and you need to use those two hours instead of wasting it on action sequences with no stakes or meaning.
Oblivion frustrated ME into oblivion.
