So, this is a pretty new thing for me, and since this is currently in my realm of interest, behold the first
FITNESS REVIEW
from Theology Gaming. What does this have to do with gaming, or theology? Probably not much at all. But given the dearth of content on this website generally in the past few years, and wanting to get back into writing on a more consistent basis, I figured why not? And since I’ve actually decided to get into better shape and lose lots of weight in my mid-thirties, chronicling the journey seems a swell enough idea to put to (digital) paper.
Also, not sure if I want to throw star ratings on these, but for now I’ll let the text speak for itself.
And one more thing – Disclosure: I am not a Beachbody coach, I paid for Beachbody On Demand with my own money so I can work out at home. I am about as objective as a person can be about these products. This sort of exercise works for me, it may not for you, hence the subjective nature of reviews. I am 5’10” and I have a long torso and short legs. Things easier for you may be hard for me, and vice versa.
Anyway, to recap: I’ve been doing lots of home workout fitness programs for the past few years. I started with DDP Yoga, which is an excellent program for people who don’t move much…if at all. But yoga doesn’t tend to get your heart rate up, nor do you lose much weight. Gaining flexibility and mild body-resistance strength definitely helps, but at some point I would need to do what I hate most: cardio. Lots of cardio. One cannot get “shredded” without some sort of cardiovascular activity. And in that respect did I come to the revelation of home video fitness’ most brutal purveyor of pain.
Shaun T
The look of intimidation Shaun T shows off here is exactly what Shaun T cardio programs are like: serious, ruthless aggression. Right after I finished Persona 5 Royal and said to myself “playing a single video for one hundred and thirty hours on my big behind is basically Stockholm syndrome, maybe I need to move some more”, I decided to try Focus T25 – Shaun T’s “beginner” fitness. And Core Cardio absolutely DESTROYED me. It’s hard to realize how out of shape you actually are until you do something so intense that finishing felt like a major accomplishment (and even then, it took several weeks to get there!).
Shaun T love to speak in the third person, and Shaun T also loves a combination of core and cardio work simultaneously. Jumping jacks of all shapes and sizes? You got it! Jumping around a whole lot? Sure, why not? Your legs will take an absolute shellacking from the first few programs of Shaun T. He doesn’t play around, only offering light encouragement here and there. But, on the other hand, Shaun T programs use excellent music that’s totally coordinated to the flow of the exercise. In the same way music makes dance more intense since your body tries to catch up with the beat, the same goes for Shaun T’s music (Beachbody’s budget must be sky high to actually produce music after the filming occurs, but it’s what makes them one of the kings of the home fitness hill when they want to excel).
Honestly, coming from video games, I think the uphill climb suited me more than I know. The challenge of just getting over the hump kept me going, and I simply wanted to beat Shaun T’s gauntlet of pain (with, of course, the plyometric benefits of jumping all the time with flat feet silent scream). And so it was that I kept doing it, and kept doing it consistently, and consistently getting better at it until I could say I was reasonably fit.
On the other hand, I never really followed a program to the letter, and basically ate whatever I wanted. The weight loss slowed, and I hit what they call a “plateau”. So it was that I needed to change my diet, and actually figure out how many calories I ingested on a daily basis. As an American, it turns out A LOT was the answer! Counting calories makes you realize how much you eat, and boy do we eat way more than is necessary for human functioning. Couple that with a sedentary lifestyle, and you’re begging for trouble. So I figured, “with a proper diet and actually following a program for 30 days, maybe I can finally start progressing again”. And what program did I choose? Well…
Insanity: The Asylum
Whenever you see the word “Insanity”, along with a picture of Shaun T doing some sort of athletic feat, you’re in for a good time. Insanity stands as one of the most intense home video workout programs ever put to film, and the original literally tries to murder you. If your legs can’t handle the punishment, your joints will give up and then you’ll need to go to a hospital (probably). However, Shaun T (and Beachbody) realized that injuring people probably wouldn’t help fitness people too much, so subsequent Insanity workouts lightened the joint load, relatively speaking. Enter The Asylum, a sports training-style exercise regiment that is a fascinating bit of work.
See, the sports training isn’t a gimmick in this case, not really. The only two pieces of equipment that are absolutely required are an agility ladder and a jump rope (both pictured above). You’ll develop a ton of explosive cardio movement and endurance, but as an added benefit many of the programs build your accuracy and pinpoint precision within the agility ladder. It’s quite remarkable how much better I got over time, from drunken bear style to whipping through the ladder AT SPEED without even touching it. A nice side bonus, and part of the reason why I like this program so much. Hard to get bored, that’s for sure.
Of course, this is a Shaun T joint, so expect a few thing: core cardio assault, lots and lots of jumping, a ten minute warmup where you’re confused because it definitely DOES NOT FEEL LIKE a warmup, and what amounts to zero breaks (pro-tip: pause the video, drink water, etc between exercises. You are not Batman. Yet.). But this program really does build muscle and strength, along with the cardiovascular endurance of an Olympian, just from following the program. Eat well, do the things, and for all that is holy take the rest days and do the Relief workout when it says, or frankly whenever you need it, because YOU WILL NEED IT. Though Asylum typically does 4-5 days of workouts, they are intense and you’ll be completely gassed no matter what because you can push yourself harder the better you get. Anyway, on to the workouts.
Workouts
Fitness Test – 25 minutes
This tests your ability to do the program, and also to track your progress on days 1, 15, and 30. Trust me, you’ll see the difference. It’s definitely not that difficult for veterans of other programs, but if you’re struggling with this, I wouldn’t recommend going any further. Lots of jumping jacks, jump ropes, pushups, and the like.
Speed and Agility – 45 minutes
This will be the first one you do, and the first one to smash you. You jump, run, and move all around the ladder like a chipmunk on meth, and Shaun even punishes you for touching the ladder with pushups. The move I most associate with this is the Ab Progressions, where you bounce your feet into the ladder from first, to second, to third rung for a minute straight; your core will scream for mercy on this one after a while. Also exciting: planking and moving with your arms through the ladder.
This is intense stuff, so don’t be discouraged at how completely sloppy you are at first. Accuracy and agility come with time and practice, not with doing stuff too fast and hurting yourself.
Man, those Ab Progressions…I will not miss those.
Strength – 47 minutes
Strength basically takes weights, and adds weights to cardiovascular stuff. Obviously we’re not throwing weights over our heads, but be careful. Do not use your typical weights here, because you will run out of lower body strength once you’re doing jump squats with a fifteen pound weight. Or, one of the many dumbbell plank row jack pushup combinations that will require some memorization (yes all those words in a row mean something).
Oh, and did I mention the pullups? They hurt. The explosive jumping pullups are, to put it simply, excruciating. Be forewarned that you should basically just modify any and all pullups into pushups unless you’re used to doing pullups on a regular basis (read: not many people, and certainly not me until recently).
Back to Core – 43 minutes
I’d call this “nicer” than some of the previous workouts; at the very least, it’s a change of pace where you mostly develop your core and back muscle in all manner of ways. This is, of course, good for Shaun T programs since all that jumping puts strain on your back once your legs run of juice and overcompensating can lead to injury. Resistance bands will help you here if you have them.
Some of the moves, including the swimmer stuff for minutes on end (lay on your belly, lift your legs, arms and chest while mimicking swimming motions) will push your muscles to their limit. There’s also this thing that you hold for minutes on end while moving your arms:
I am surprised at how much the bodyweight resistance provides definition and strength for the other workouts on the list. I like this one a lot, and probably will do it a whole lot more once I know what to actually do in my other workout programs (freestyling it, I guess?).
Vertical Plyo – 40 minutes
“Plyometric”, for those not in the know, means exercise training that uses speed and force of different movements to build muscle power. Colloquially, in exercise that means jumping. LOTS AND LOTS of jumping. And plyo pushups, where you launch yourself into the air (clap pushups are pretty close too).
As for Shaun T, calling a workout “Plyo” anything means something great and terrible. Fancy jump double jumps (i.e., two full swings of the rope between jumps). Ladder drills where you cross your legs in-between the ladder. Full lateral jumps over the ladder, full long jumps over the ladder. Rotating jump squats. One legged jump squats inside the ladder! Hooboy, this one is a terror. Every time I did this I was completely wasted, so come into this one prepared.
Game Day – 60 minutes (!)
Of course, Vertical Plyo does not even compare to Game Day, the “culmination” of all the skills you learn in the other routines. As the name implies, you will do tons of exercise moves inspired by pretty much any sport you can think of, from running to tennis to speed skating to rock climbing (the part I hate the most…ow).
At a insane 60 minutes, this isn’t so much an exercise routine as it is a battle of wills, an endurance test, and a constant fight against the urge to stop. I can’t imagine a core cardio routine of any kind being harder than this – maybe equivalent, but definitely not harder. And then for the Game Days after the first, go into
Overtime – 13 minutes (!!)
And, eventually, Shaun T demands that you add Overtime to the end of Game Day. If you hadn’t had enough plyometrics already, you’ll need to do more after subsequent Game Days. And in the agility ladder too! Enjoy those plyo pushups and pullups, along with the explosive one legged squat jumps where you land on one leg.
Again, Overtime is about fighting the urge to stop, and not give up after doing 73 whole minutes of exercise. The sense of accomplishment and pure exhaustion after this is intense, I can say that much.
Relief – 25 minutes
You will need this stretching. It’s just basic stretches, but it’s focused on the parts of the body most likely to need it within the context of The Asylum: legs. Lots and lots of leg stretches, and definitely some back stuff. Obviously, any other kind of stretching from any other program will do, but for 25 minutes this one strikes me as quick, efficient, and pretty relaxing all said.
Conclusions
So, how do I feel about it? Well, I managed to survive it, that’s for sure. I also went from about 232 pounds to 212 or so, just from diet and from intense exercise. But more than that, climbing this mountain feels like a genuine accomplishment. The Olympic level cardio endurance and stamina seems like a bonus (and also seems to be working for my next exercise regiment as well). The INSANE weight loss claims aren’t that far off the mark, provided you do the work and eat correctly. The light equipment requirements also was one of the central reasons I like Shaun T workouts, and this definitely fits the bill.
On the other hand, this is an advanced workout program, which seems pretty obvious to me. I started at the requisite ability threshold, so do not attempt if you cannot make it out of the Fitness Test. In addition, because of the plyometrics that seems to worm their way into every single workout here, anyone with back problems or pain will probably want to sit this one out. I wouldn’t say I have back problems, but there’s a reason why the program only goes for 30 days: take a break afterward and try something else. You will break your body down over time, especially your legs, which will lead to further breakdown of other parts of your body.
Presentation-wise, this program is pretty old and wasn’t filmed in HD, so the grainy footage is as it is. However, given the intensity of the exercise, I doubt you will notice it very much.
Shaun T motivates you without being an obnoxious cheerleader, which I like. It might seem like a light thing to have a guy tell you to “push harder”, but you always feel like Shaun T wants you to hit the light at the end of the tunnel. So while the workouts keep increasing in intensity and destruction, you always pull out a few extra reps…to either beat him or stick it to him lol.
All in all, I’d say Insanity – The Asylum definitely is worth your time if you’re in the right shape and up for the challenge. I certainly can’t say I’m disappointed! The coordination/speed combo isn’t something you’ll see in many other regiments, so I never got bored with it.
