Category: Essays
Things that don’t fit anywhere else.
The first time I realized that God created me to rule at life I was running fast enough to fly, executing jumps with parkour-like agility and battling those who would slow me down without mercy. See, there was an evil dragon who stole my princess. I was the only one willing, or capable for that matter, of saving her! My abilities were supernatural in nature: lighting enemies on fire, traveling to different worlds, and crushing goons under my feet all for the sake of ridding the world of evil and defending those I love.
What? Mario you say? No! That was MY mission!
I have a smartphone. Yes, I am one of the few young people in the Western world to not own one, but rising contract costs somehow forced me into buying one. Thanks to Republic Wireless’s hilariously cheap plan for the Moto G and my ability to not use a phone very much at all, I end up winning in the end. Take that oppressive data plans and free wi-fi! Since I know nothing about such devices, I’m fortunate enough not to care about the better products in the market and just feel the wonder of new experiences instead. Hey, I’m ever the optimist.